Bridgets Fucked up World

Subject:	JOSE!!!!!!!!!
Time:	10:47 pm.
Music:	joses voice!.

i am sitting here with my lover jose!!!!!!! yesterday me him and his little sister(who is only 1!) made a cake! she was so cute...she kept putting the spoon in and splashing around the cake batter...lol...then me jose and yazmin went to decorate the cake...it didnt work so well...it looked so bad....it was falling apart...no matter how bad it looked...it tasted so good!...lol...but his mom threw it away...oh well...we went to the mall today and he looked so sad and it made me sad!!!!!!!!but then he got happy after i gave him candy!...we got his mom a birthday present!...and she liked it!!!!yay...well i am going to go and chill with him some more!!!!!!!!!! i <3 him!!!!!!!!!!!

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Subject:	wow...yeah weird
Time:	1:53 pm.
Mood:	busy.

so jose and luis are over...long story...im talking to mark again why i dont really know....even he asked me why i forgave him...but i didnt have an answer...but yeah i am not going to do the same thing again....but yeah this weekend was good i went to hang out with jo and patty and a few people by them...we had fun...but the stories are too bad to tell...haha yeah...but me and patty always have like heart to heart talks....and we spent most of the morning dancing! lol...then i hung out with i dont remember who on saturday prolly jose....then on sunday i went to see rent with luis william and luis friends for his birthday...i was scared about going cause i think it was going to be pretty bad...but it wasnt that bad....(but i think i saw it before...how long as it been out?)...the one gy who plays angel in one of his dresses looks like my friend anthony...it was crazy...i took a pic with him and the other guy i forget his name....he was one of the leads....not mark...the other one...yeah...i dunno...well after that went to get something to eat and i made a very long straw again! i love to do that...and i stole a sign off the train...lol...then i came home and talking to people lol....i dont remember who...and i dont remember monday i think i went to hang out with jose lol...i have the worst memory ever!...but yeah i have mid terms...one tomorrow 2 on friday...one on monday...then i have regents....tuesday wed and thursday....i am going crazy...i hope i did wellin the class...and that i do weel on the tests...i prolly wont i always have to fuck up once....yeah i am going to go pick up pictures and study bye bye

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Subject:	mhm
Time:	7:29 pm.
Mood:	aggravated.

so now i am 17 man...i feel so old....but i know im not....but i am older than alot of my friends....but yeah...yesterday school wasnt that bad....kinda long boring and painful but that is basically everyday....when i came home it was weird...then my brothers girl friend joy came over then later on william and afet that jose...we had some cake and hung out but then jose had to go and eventually so did william...i got a few cd's and a few dvd's and some clothes....well today was pointless to go to school we had 25 minute classes and i had double free last so i got out at like 1125....and came home and studied a little....i gotta do good on my fucking midterms and regents....i havent been doing that bad in school either....i prolly could be doing better...tomorrow i gotta do some stupid junior computer assignment where i choose 2 colleges that i am thinking about going to...and make this big ass chart...it isnt going to be that hard..esp cause jessica showed me where i am getting my info from so i just have to do it over again in front of a teacher...but its all good...i know the teacher so she wont care that i started it...thats one good thing about getting on a teachers good side...well on a bad note...i had a bad conversation with louis last night....he was talking to jose about his birthday party on sunday...and jose doesnt wanna ask his mom cause he knows she is going to say no...cause it is in the city and she doesnt know him...so he told louis that he is like oh you dont care about me...you have to come your my boy friend...and blah blah...and then he imed me and he told me(like jose didnt tell me as soon as the convo started)...and i was trying to explain to him what goes on at joses house and all this shit...and he just kept saying the same thing with different words as if i am not 2 years older than him and know what the fuck he is talking about...and he said to me before i said anything about it that he doent think it was a good idea that they stared going out...so i said you know maybe you guys would be better off as friends and he is like dont say that i cant handle it not now not again...and i blew up and was talking about how he doesnt know what love is(which is very true...)and how he needs to learn that loosing a boy friend isnt the worst thing in the world...and then he got angry and signed off...and i dont think he is talking to me now....i dont know right now i dont care...ok i spoke too soon he just imed me...well i am going to go and study i have 2 tests tomorrow....bye bye

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Subject:	nooooooooooo
Time:	10:31 pm.
Mood:	gloomy.

i dont feel well....i actually feel like shit...i wanna go to sleep for about a week and no be bothered...school is pissing me off...and the most depressing thing of all...is tomorrow is my birthday...nothing good every happens...i always end up upset or angry on my birthday...dont even get me started with what happened last year...sure my mom threw me a surprise party...and it was nice...but i didnt wanna be there...i dont wanna be here...i hope the girls at school dont wrap my locker...the bitch who has the locker above me is just going to ruin it like she did last year...i hate her...one day i am going to flip out and beat the shit out of her....i almost did last year...well i am sad and tried and i gotta do homework...bye bye

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Time:	3:23 am.
Mood:	depressed.

so yeah its like 330 am....and like 2 days away from my birthday...life sucks...people lie...i get angry..but oh well...i have nothing to do...i dont wanna go to sleep cause everything i have a bad dream and wake up feeling sick....well yesterday i worked with justin and john...it was long and boring...i kept almost falling alseep...and i dont know why everytime i went to write the letter H i wrote 1...but i dont know why....and when there was 00 i kept putting 000...but i dont know why....i was just out of it...and lately i have been talking to gary again...he is still pretty stuid but he knows more then he used to...lol...it takes hims a minute to get my jokes but he gets them now...lol it took him long enough....but yeah...afetr what happened over vacation i stoped talking to mark...but i imed him before and asked him about it and we kinda talked about it but it didnt explain anything....but whatever...i cant waste my time on liars any more i learned my lession....well on another note...jose started going out with williams friend from school luis...but he is kinda weird...and obsessed with jose...which isnt bad cause he treats him better than darnell...but i think jose might be getting tired of him...and he keeps saying how after they break up he is going to be straight...but i think he is just scared of what other people think of him...esp his dad...if his dad found out he would kick his ass and disown him...but yeah...i think i am sick...i gotta go my dad is prolly on his way how from the bar...and he is going to kick my ass if i am still away...well down stairs...

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Subject:	something i shoud know
Time:	8:10 pm.
Mood:	cynical.

you think i would have figured out by now nothing good is going to happen to me...sure i didnt do horrible on my report card...but religion wasnt good...but yeah i always try to think positive but i always ended up get fucked...and the only person who really talks to me is jose...william is kinda there but not really...diane is always there but we have our away times cause we are so busy...and i dont really talks to girls from school out side of school...but yeah...on thanksgiving my grandma pissed off my dad and my day tought the door was wood and he punched it(not hard intending to put his hand though it) but he broke the whole window...and he scared the crap out of my cousins and the foreign exchanged student that is living with my cousins...(my cousins ask my uncle for a dog and he said no and got them a foreign exchanged student instead)...i think that is kinda crazy...and i feel so bad for him...he picked the wrong family to come stay with...he prolly shit a brick when my dad punched the door...he is scary...but yeah...we left as soon as we could...its not like i wanted to be there my family hates me...they all talk about me and my cousins tell them stories and shit...but yeah...i feel like their stares are going to cut though me like a knife...and i know they are talking about me in their heads and when i leave...my grandma has balls and says it to my face...but i dont need that shit i get enough of it at school...but yeah this weekend i spent with mainly jose...and william came to hang out one day...but today i went to the mall with jose and his dad...i am scared of his dad...he is always pissed...but today atleast i got him to laugh...wen supposedly went to get him a tie...but he didnt find the kind he wanted...and he got himself a belt...he got a present for joses momn and his friend...yet he couldent give jose $2...he was pulling money out of his ass for him self though...oh well...but i gotta go do some homework before justin comes looking to used the computer again bye bye

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Subject:	fhrkbdkfgjb
Time:	8:58 pm.
Mood:	blah.

well i got my report card the other day not bad except religion....and earth science fucked me over she gave me a 77 i should have had an 86...i was so pissed....but oh well...friday i wne to hang out with jose and yazmin....then on saturday...first i went to make party bags at phillips house...then i went to hang out with jose and yazmin again...its not like i had anything better to do...today i went to joses little sisters birthday party....i got so much stuff...his family is crazy but cool...me and his cousin sat there trying to flip forks in to a glass...haha we couldent get it in more than like 3 times...then me joe and yazmin got introuble because they wrote on the table cloth with my marker...i felt bad i didnt wanna say i didnt do it and just let them get in trouble even though i didnt do it..lol yeah im weird...but his other cousin gordo talks to me online all the time and shit but he dont talk to me in person...but i only see him at their family parties...maybe if me him jose and other people hung out it would be different...i dunno...well i gotta go to homework or something i know i am forgetting something....

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Subject:	d;jfbvg;fjg
Time:	3:19 pm.
Mood:	depressed.

well on friday just hung out it was normal....on saturday me jose william and deeanna went to the redzone 5 cent deposit was playing!...it was a good show...i got to see a few people i havent seen since the last patent pending show...even though they cancelled...and the dailys gone wrong didnt come either...but we still had a good time....i got free stuff...and some band i think named taint took pictures and we are going to be on their web site...today i was supposed to go to a funneral but i decided i didnt want to go...i am supposed to be doing homework but i am procrastinating....report cards is thie thursday....im kinda nervous...but i know i only did not so good in like 2 classes...the rest are passing...life has been kinda sucky alot of things have been going down hill...i started to do stupid things again...well i gotta go do homework...bye bye

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Subject:	happy belated halloween
Time:	2:47 pm.
Mood:	blah.

on friday i went to ps207 with jose his little brother and 2 little cousins to watch some movie...justin ashley and krystal are so annoying...they dont listen at all...and krystal loves jose and she kept trying to kiss him..it was weird...then saturday i worked at the aquarium...i got my face painted the lady matched the butterfly to my wings it looked so nice when i get the pics i will put them in here...they had alot of games...i did arts and crafts then i did sea life bingo...then some water conservation thing....its was ok...people kept asking me to take pictures with their kids...i know i am going to meet someone one day that has that picture of me...that would be crazy...then after work i went to babysit...and william came with me but he left at like 2am....but we couldent find the keys to get out of the house...he was going to climb out the window but i wouldent let him....then we realized the back door he could gt out of...then the next day i came home and went to the aquarium got my face painted then went to the red zone to see just one chance...they were always good but they got better... i saw a few people i knew there...it was fun....alot of people were dressed up...i managed not to get hit this time and i was really close to the pit...

today i have to do homework...i already cleaned...now i am going to prolly clean my room then i am going to do homework...i did the earth science quizes last night...well i better go bye bye

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Subject:	time
Time:	4:10 pm.
Mood:	busy.

i am back and forth from rockaway and brooklyn...its crazy....and stressful....i feel weird because i am sitting here picking out my high school ring.....i remember when i had to do this for junior high...when i used to go to chrissys house everyday....and we would walk her puppy and do like nothing...but still have fun...but yeah those days are long gone...cant say i dont miss them cause i do...i will miss cookie....

i have been good so far with doing work so far hopefully i will keep it up...i really have to work with music history...its alot of crazy names and stuff to remember...and earth science gives alot of stuff for us to do...i have a 4 page report due tomorrow...i already did 3 pages so i am good i can procrastinate...well i gotta go i have 2 tests tomorrow and i wanna make corrections on my report...bye bye

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Subject:	fckjnf;g
Time:	1:11 pm.

im sick....on friday after tewalk-a-thon i went to joannas house....we hung out there until patty jo and jessica came back then we went to the park and i told everyone my name was everything but bridget...and they believe me...but patty kept telling everyone my real name...i was like damn it....and a few of them remembered me from last time....so we stayed there for a while....then we went to this kid robs house for his birthday...it was me jo joanna jessica patty rob and adam....then later on 2 other girls i didnt know came....rob and adam were joking around and were like i have been to many sausage parties but never a paty were it was all girls...and oh man did they have a good time...until the end when people started throwing up....it was a crazy night...who was making out with who...who was on the bed with someone else...who could barley stand...or even sit on a chair with out falling off...who couldent walk into robs room cause the strobe light and they were too drunk....who fell down the steps...who was throwing candy around....who was stripping....it was pretty crazy....i couldent even tell you what else happened....at like 12 joannas dad came to get me her and patty (jessica and the other joanna left earlier)and we went back to her house and they fell asleep....the cats slept on me and patty...then on saturday patty left and i went to do community service with joanna...and then i left cause i had to babysit....im so tired...i amd waiting for jose and william to call me now....i am going to go bye bye

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Subject:	i cant i really cant
Time:	5:17 pm.
Mood:	blah.

this is the first time in a long time i am having a chance to up date...i dont get to spend much time at home...and i dont really get to do what i wanna do....like i cant stay online for long....and i havent been too good with the whole doing homework thing....esp in math...but i will do all the ones i didnt do for thursday...i told her why i didnt have them though...i cant take my earth science teacher she makes me very angry and so does my english teacher...and my math teacher treats us like we are fucking retarted...i cant take it...i know the answer like a half hour before everyone else she drags out every problem....and i fucked up on the test cause the girl in front of me kept asking me for answers....
so i wasnt paying attention to my own test...like the push-over that i am...i have just been kinda different lately....im not happy....i try to pretend to be happy and i think people believe it...but i dont know....

well saturday i went to the red zone to see the high school football heros, insult to tradition, and just one chance....i went for some of the after noon show and some of the night show...the afternoon show was good i met a few new people and jose came he had fun...but the night show was crazy...i mosh pit was half the length of the building i have 8 back and blues...and a head ach i cant get rid of...the drugs work for a litttle while that is if they do decide to work...i will put pictures from saturday when i get a chance...but i gotta go back to rockaway...i loath and abhor that place...but my grandma is leaving on friday for 2 weeks...bye bye

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Subject:	sdkfunbpdf
Time:	10:27 pm.

gotta say one thing before i forget happy birthday ashley....

school has been kinda sucky...except the other day when i had free with jessica....i used to have a million frees with her it was the best...now we have like 2 or 3 a cycle...it suck but we have gym computer and religion togther...and we got screw with sitting next to each other all 3 times...normally i am right behind her...but oh well its all good i guess...so far i have been good like i planed to do all my homework...i even did vocab homework...i dont think i even opened my vocab book last year or the year before...and i am taking music history...that class is going to be fun cause its me and one other girl in the class...and mrs green is the one that makes up the regnent...so this should be good...but in most of my other classes the teachers talk to us like we are fucking retards...in math and fucking earth science i die...they talk so slow...and i know the point they are going to make before they make it and they drag it out and then i zone out....i cant take it...but oh well i am just going to have to make the best with what they gave me....oh anmd that computer class isnt helping at all....lol its just making me more spazy....oh well...i am going to go bye bye

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Subject:	hm
Time:	1:12 pm.

well friday i hung out with jose and his friend krystal who is going to kearney...we hung out in mcdonalds and talked for a little then me and jose were chained togther and we went to the corner store...then we went to williams.....and hung out there for a little while then we went to rite aid...where people continuted to stare at me cause they think i am crazy...but i was being good this time...lol...then we went back to williams house but then people next door started to come over...so he was like lets go....and i was like what ever....so we were going to go to jose house but he was like his cousins were there so we walked to pizza hut where they started to poke me....and there were these 2 black ladies sitting behind us......and they were making fun of us...but they were ugly i was just like whatever plenty people have made fun of them....and i didnt care....then we came to my house and hung out for a little...then it was like 10 and krystals mom was like im comming to get you..so went to get popsicles...why i dont know...then we went to jose's block and krystals mom came and she left....then we stayed there till like 1120....then me and william came to my house and william left after like 5 minutes...it was all good we had fun....

then yesterday i went to hang out with diane....we had fun we chilled at her house and took pictures and stuff....i hadent seen her in madd long so it was good to see her again....i will put the pictures in here later...i have to put them in photobucket first..
then i went to annettes for her birthday...it was kinda boring...rita is so cute though...she made us watch her dancing school video and she was oh man this movie is great you have to get it!...then after we saw her first dance she was like on man i love this tv!!...she is so cute lol...

but yeah then today i am going to prolly go see jose for a little while then my parents are making me go to my grandmas house for dinner...
well i am going to go get ready to go out bye bye

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